Austin, Texas · Women's Self Defense
Kick His
Dick.com
Because Nice Didn't Keep You Safe.
📍 Serving Austin, TX & Surrounding Areas
Austin, Texas · Women's Self Defense
Because Nice Didn't Keep You Safe.
📍 Serving Austin, TX & Surrounding Areas
Why Ballbusters
We teach real, street-tested defense techniques to women of all ages and fitness levels. No prior experience needed — just the willingness to fight back.
We train for how attacks actually happen — not movie choreography. Bear hugs, chokes, wrist grabs — we cover it all.
You don't need to be an athlete. Technique and awareness beat size and strength every time.
Half of self defense is what happens before contact. We teach you to read a room, trust your gut, and stay out of bad situations.
Bachelorette parties, corporate teams, sororities, friend groups — we make it empowering AND a blast.
What We Offer
From intimate private sessions to large corporate events, we customize every class to your group.
Meet Jesse
I started teaching self-defense after being assaulted while driving Uber. I felt completely powerless in that moment — and I never wanted anyone else to feel that way. So I learned everything I could: Krav Maga, Jiu-Jitsu, wrestling, street tactics. And then I figured out the most approachable way to share it.
Pink spandex. Knee pads. Your backyard.
I've taught self-defense to refugees, survivors of assault, corporate teams, bachelorette parties, moms and daughters, sororities, and groups of complete strangers who became fast friends after two hours of kneeing me in the groin. I will take every hit with a smile and give every person in your group a high five after they drop me. That is my promise.
This is my passion. Your safety is the point. The fun is the bonus.
What It Costs
$25 per person. Jesse's dignity not included.
Perfect for a tight crew. Intimate enough that everyone gets personal attention. And by personal attention we mean Jesse will let each of you knee him individually.
Book This →The sweet spot. Big enough for a full bachelorette squad, small enough that Jesse can still walk afterwards. Usually. Gratuity appreciated.
Book This →For the group that does not do anything small. Corporate teams, large bachelorettes, sororities. Jesse will need a day to recover. Worth it.
Book This →At this point Jesse deserves a medal, a therapist, and a very good health insurance plan. We will make it work. Contact us for custom pricing.
Contact Us →All sessions approximately 90 minutes · Jesse comes to you · Gratuity appreciated but never required
You Asked. We Answered.
Absolutely not. If you can throw a knee and hold a grudge you are already halfway there. Jesse will handle the rest.
Typically 90 minutes. Long enough to learn real skills, short enough that Jesse's eggs survive the session. Usually.
Jesse comes to you. Backyard, living room, Airbnb, wherever your group is set up. He will show up in spandex regardless of the venue. This is non-negotiable.
Comfortable workout clothes. Sneakers. Nothing you're precious about. Jesse will be in a spandex bodysuit because he has fully committed to a bit and we respect that about him.
Anywhere from 2 to 40+. The more the merrier. The more the scarier, if you're Jesse.
Bear hug escapes, choke defenses, wrist grabs, knee strikes, and situational awareness. Real techniques that work in real situations. We teach you to fight like you mean it because someday you might need to.
Yes. That is the whole point. Record it in slow motion. You're welcome.
Jesse says no. Jesse's eggs say they'd like a lawyer present before answering that question. There was however one incident involving a participant who requested a testicular claw, grabbed Jesse by the goods with the grip of a woman who had something to prove, squeezed, and Jesse made a sound that can only be described as a pig discovering its own mortality. He gave her a high five immediately after. She got a standing ovation. It was the greatest moment in Ballbusters history and Jesse has never spoken of it since.
Freedom of movement, allegedly. Though it does raise the question of what exactly is being freed. Current working theory is that the bodysuit is load bearing and without it Jesse simply ceases to exist.
Jesse is thriving. Jesse has the energy of a golden retriever who just discovered fetch. Jesse pops back up after every single knee strike with a high five and a form correction. Nobody knows what Jesse is made of. Scientists are looking into it.
This is a self defense class. Please focus.
Book a Class
Tell us a little about your event and we'll get back to you within 24 hours with availability and pricing.
Your inquiry is in. We'll be in touch within 24 hours to lock in the details and get your crew ready to fight back.
What Women Are Saying
"Jesse is great at explaining the purpose of the course and how to effectively do all of the moves. He allows you to practice in a safe and comfortable environment. Highly recommend attending some of his classes!"
— Andrea D.
"Jesse is extremely professional. Having the confidence to know that if I am in an unfortunate situation, I can defend myself is priceless. I highly recommend Ballbusters. And come on, who doesn't want to have a little bit of fun at the same time you're learning to defend yourself?"
— Elizabeth L.
"I booked a mother daughter self defense class for me and my 14 year old. Wow where do I start. Jesse has no ego. My daughter threw him on the mat and he hopped up and high fived her with a smile. Seeing her confidence grow was touching. Do it."
— Kelli, Mother & Daughter Class
"In this class you are encouraged to use your full power and kick them where it hurts! Jesse creates a safe space that empowers women to use force and protect themselves. He really let us try EVERYTHING on him! I don't think I've ever had a man on the floor like that. Bottom line, us ladies need to protect ourselves. Jesse serves as the ultimate punching bag/instructor. Thank you Jesse for keeping me and my girls safe!"
— Ilana
"We booked Jesse for our Bachelorette and the highlight was chanting 'Kick his Dick!' while our bride to be put him DOWN! He's a gem, he can take a kick to the balls, and was the highlight of our weekend."
— Brook K., Bachelorette Party
"Whoa! This was so fun. We Ballbusted him, choked him out, actually kicked his dick (tip: record in slow-mo!) and he pops right up with a smile and gives us a high five. He has LOADS of positive energy and breaks down the moves you need to know. He's hung like a baby carrot but I loved the pink bodysuit!"
— Tyler
In Action
Real classes. Real techniques. Real consequences for Jesse.
📍 The moment of impact
